Talk:James Bond vs Austin Powers/@comment-5660191-20160612213205
Almost there. EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! JAMES BOND! VS! AUSTIN POWERS! BEGIN! James Bond: I’ve beef with Le Chiffre and know a Blofeld with a cheek scar But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are I’ll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot Blast your statue-like ass from the back-slot of a fat Scot Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I’ve earned it I’m Licenced to Kill, you couldn’t get a learner’s permit After 24 films, I’m still reaching new heights Your third movie died, guess You Only Live Twice Spell my name, the ladies wanna B-on-D Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me I’m the ??? from my head to my toe and after this flow I’m done I only need one round, *gunshot* Golden Gun Austin Powers: You look a lot more blond in your movie, baby But that’s alright, let’s just keep it groovy, baby (yeah) Basil Exposition told me this would be boring But Jesus, man, even my mojo’s snoring I’ve never seen such a miserable spy I’ve also never seen a man with glistening thighs I mean, you can’t shag verbally with that waxed ???? Birds flock to the musk of my chest fuzz (yeah) I’ll hypnotize you with a little striptease And then judo chop, I’m swinging on you like the 60’s (yeah) You’re defenseless, my rhymes can’t be deflected You’re like all the sex I’ve ever had, unprotected (yeah) People want a hero with a little personality No one wants to sit through your gritty reality Maybe Q can craft a new plot line You’ve made Thunderball two bloody times I’m one of a kind, you’re always getting remade You can’t touch me, double-oh, behave James Bond: Ugh, I can’t believe I’m wasting my time with this clown I should be on an island with a fucking model by now Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies Austin Powers: Yeah, that’s not mine James Bond: I didn’t say I was finished, I’m sick of your silly gimmicks I’m the best spy in the business, just ask all the critics And I’ve been through hell, so yeah, I’m a bit of a cynic But I’m the original model that your frilly ass mimics James Bond (Connery): I wouldn’t exactly call you original It’s the most prominent dominant bomb spy so pay homage Handing out ass-whoopings, I’m on some real James Bondage Your performance doesn’t stir me and I’m certainly not shaken If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I’d go and watch Taken I see your modern gadgets and I piss on them all I don’t need a cue to break your balls I’m the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on You’re so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond… Gold Bond Austin Powers: Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap please? James Bond (Connery): Rap deez, you velvety hack Austin Powers: Jeez! James Bond (Craig) It’s the movie business and you’ve had your sex/six The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists Austin Powers: Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey I mean, I like to swing but Dr. No means no, baby James Bond (Connery): Oh please, I’m Extraordinary, Gentlemen, I’m distinguished If they made a Mini-Me, they’d have to cast Peter Dinklage James Bond (Craig): Well maybe they should cast a Bond who’s actually English James Bond (Connery): *gunshot* Why, pussy, aren’t you the cunning linguist? James Bond (Craig): As a matter of fact, I’ve got a knack for licking old cunts After I beat you, I’ll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts James Bond (Connery): Now you listen here, you little duck-faced runt I’m all in, I’m ready to die any day that you want WHO WON? (WHO WON?) WHO’S NEXT? (WHO’S NEXT?) YOU… YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!